Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Stupidest Post Ever

Image from Failblog.org

I can't decide if a coloring book full of zebras would be really boring or really fun. If you're the realistic type, there would be nothing to color in except maybe some background and greenery. Of course, if you're the imaginative type you could color them any color or every color. That's probably what I would have done as a kid -- use every crayon in the box.

But anyway, I was looking for inspiration today. I wanted to spark some passion to write about something or other. Plus, I was also a bit lonely. So I heard about this new internet phenomena called Omegle which has gone viral or so I've heard. You click a button on the site and it hooks you up with a random anonymous stranger to talk with. They used to call this IRC, but I'm showing my age.

Anyway, I was hesitant to try it because I heard you usually get paired with racist homophobes or cyber sex seekers. I am neither. But I figured the challenge to steer the conversation to another level could be both awkward and fun. Here is my first conversation:

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hi?
Stranger: what up!?!
You: Nothing. Do you like zebras?
Stranger: I like striped shirts.
You: That's close!
Stranger: for sure.
Stranger: do you like hats?
You: Yes I like hats. I used to have a hat with sunglasses.
Stranger: no way.
You: Yea, built in to the hat.
Stranger: the hat and sunglasses were connected.
Stranger: ?
Stranger: ?!?
You: they were built into the rim, and you pulled the rim over your eyes.
You: and then you had sunglasses. they were awesome.
Stranger: pics or it didn't happen!
You: I can't find one any more! I had it when I was a kid.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
My second conversation really reminded me why I hated IRC -- the constant age/sex/location question. There are so many more interesting things about people than ASL, and don't most people lie anyway? Here is my second conversation:
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hi
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: No, I don't know sign language. Why do you ask?
Stranger: female?
You: ice cream?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
I think maybe the trick is for me to quickly ask the first question in order to set the tone. My third conversation:
Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Have you ever eaten snails?
Stranger: Hey hey hey
Stranger: NO
Stranger: you?
You: Yeah once. Gross.
Stranger: really?
Stranger: seems like it.
You: it's supposed to be a luxury
You: My sister insisted I try them.
Stranger: weird
Stranger: I would need to be PAID for eating them
Stranger: not pay
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
It's safe to say no lifelong bonds were formed, but at least it's not all elitist like that Facebook with their real name requirements and stuff.


Doug said...

I just had a great conversation with a 17 yr old kid.

I think I filled him with hope and bullshit.

Kristen said...

I just realized -- after others have told me about their conversations on Omegle -- that sessions do not automatically end after 2 minutes or so? You mean all those people were disconnecting from me? Wow. I guess I better drop the simpleton act. Yes, that was an act I was putting on.

People in the Sun said...

You see, blogging is much better. I know you well enough to empathize with your snail story because my mom ate snails in France (only there it's called escargot which sounds much better). Looking at the Gawker comments, it looks like you actually had the best of the best.

And you can color zebras. After all, zebras' eyes are bright red because they have the devil in them.

Kristen said...

I guess I couldn't remember the word "escargot." I should have remembered the joke my brother told me when I was a kid: A snail goes into the shop to get his car painted. He says he wants a big 'S' painted on the side. The guy asks why, and the snail says, "so when people see me, they'll say look at that S car go!"

I know. Lame.