That's A Wrap

Laugh at the punny headlines, but also read Ethan Zuckerman's blog about Mubarak's resignation. Ousting a dictator is not enough. Egyptians must rebuild their government now, and then comes the question of our era: what role will Facebook play in the transition?

And what role will Facebook play in the next revolution? History is set to repeat itself in Algeria already as their government shuts down the internet and deletes social-networking accounts. It doesn't surprise me that these repressive governments ruled by elderly men can't do anything right when it comes to social networking. Ever try to explain Facebook to your parents?

A Book Burner By Any Other Name

"If you don't want a man unhappy politically, don't give him two sides to a question to worry him; give him one. Better yet, give him none. Let him forget there is such a thing as war." — Fahrenheit 451.

They call themselves the "Digg Patriots," but they're a conservative wingnut community conspiring to bury liberal posts on sites like Digg, StumbleUpon, YouTube, and Facebook. Of course, it's not difficult to up-vote/down-vote articles on social media sites. It never was difficult to burn books either. Censorship has always been the inarticulate grunt of asses and fools.

Gullibility

I'm sure these Facebook users really thought they uncovered something sinister. "Martial Law Plans Revealed?" the title declares with a Fox-esque question mark. Except the video is a 2007 piece from the Onion which somehow recently resurfaced as real news.

LOL! Those Obama haters sure are gullible!

Oh Wait? What's this about a USDA official wrongfully fired because of a selectively excerpted video on a conservative blog? Oops. The Obama administration and legitimate news outlets vilified USDA official Shirley Sherrod based on bits and pieces of a speech which supposedly revealed her to be a racist, and -- gasp! -- was going to be aired on Glenn Beck's show!

Wow, Andrew Breitbart and Glenn Beck are still dragging our country down by the balls with the same modus operandi they used to attack ACORN -- a collection of lies and video edits promulgated over and over again.

But nothing has been learned. Let me speculate how the conversation went at the White House... "Let's not get a full set of facts! Let's not take a few minutes to view the whole video. Fire her! Fire her! So we look decisive! So we don't lose our own jobs!"

Yeah, pretty much that's how it went:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Kids, remember two things: Google is your friend, and when you hear something outrageously crazy, always consider the source even if it's me.

Clicking Aimlessly

The Internet is supposed to make us smarter. Where have I heard that before? Oh, it's the tagline of this blog which, by the way, is a quip I borrowed from comedian Lewis Black.

The truthiness of that supposition, though, seems to be a hot topic this week.

Clay Shirky, who teaches New Media as an associate professor at NYU, talks about the media revolution in his article Does the Internet Make You Smarter:

Every increase in freedom to create or consume media, from paperback books to YouTube, alarms people accustomed to the restrictions of the old system, convincing them that the new media will make young people stupid. This fear dates back to at least the invention of movable type.

He makes a good case that increased freedom to create gives us all kinds of silly, time-wasting distractions. For example cute cat videos, Farmville and the House Republicans' web site. But we also get revolutionary tools like Wikipedia which, according to Shirky, is becoming the most important English reference work since its creation in 2001.

But even the "good stuff" can distract me as I demonstrated in my Six Degrees of Wikipedia post last year.

Obviously there's a massive amount of informative, interesting stuff out there. I load a program called Trillian, which manages all my chat accounts, plus my Facebook and Twitter streams, and I'm instantly inundated with all kinds of witty comments and links to interesting news articles. I want to click each and every one because now I'm aware that there is something I don't know! Now I'm aware that there's new information I'm not aware of!

And knowing that there's something I don't know doesn't make me feel smart. It gives me an urgent feeling that I'm falling behind all those other smart people out there. So I read as much as I can, yet I can't commit it all to my long-term memory. Damn it.

I know I'm a total multitasker because the New York Times told me so. I scored 100% on both their Test How Fast You Juggle Tasks quiz and their Test Your Focus quiz.

But I'm not sure what those results really mean. In fact, asking whether the Internet makes us smart or dumb might be the wrong question. A better question is "What kind of brain is the web giving us?"

I think the most alarming part of this NYT story about a guy hooked on gadgets was the theory that heavy technology use diminishes empathy by limiting how much people engage with one another.

There's further evidence that the web is turning us into shallower thinkers with weak reading comprehension:

Navigating linked documents, it turned out, entails a lot of mental calisthenics—evaluating hyperlinks, deciding whether to click, adjusting to different formats—that are extraneous to the process of reading. Because it disrupts concentration, such activity weakens comprehension. A 1989 study showed that readers tended just to click around aimlessly when reading something that included hypertext links to other selected pieces of information. A 1990 experiment revealed that some “could not remember what they had and had not read.”

Even though the World Wide Web has made hypertext ubiquitous and presumably less startling and unfamiliar, the cognitive problems remain. Research continues to show that people who read linear text comprehend more, remember more, and learn more than those who read text peppered with links.

Well, that's discouraging. Here I am trying to inform and entertain, and yet, hyperlink by hyperlink, I'm slowly turning my audience into uncaring, scatter-brained introverts. That should be my new tagline.

Game Changer

Most of my friends know I'm a formidable Scrabble opponent. One of my friends used to take me out for pizza every week bringing along his travel Scrabble board hoping to beat me. After many months he finally succeeded. Then his handy Scrabble set was conveniently "lost" and I couldn't challenge him to a rematch. Until, of course, Facebook came along with its temperamental Scrabble app.

But this blog post isn't about glitchy Facebook apps. It's about the rules of the 58 year-old board game. Last night Stephen Colbert reported that the Scrabble rules are changing to allow proper names including people, places, companies and brands. This is a sure sign of the apocalypse:

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Scrabble Allows Proper Names
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Reform

Oh sure, on occasion I've wished I could use Pokemon names... I have the letters for "Zubat" more often than you would imagine... but doesn't this completely change the game? Is nothing sacred? Must we dumb down everything?

Well, apparently the rules are only changing if you buy the newer, focus-group tested, UK only variation, Scrabble Trickster.

Warning to my friends: don't bring that Trickster board within 30 feet of me.

Virtual Bribes

Sweet sweet bribes. If you play any of the cutesy Facebook games, you've inevitably been tempted to take the shortcut to the top: fill out a little survey from sponsors or sign up for an online service and earn some quick virtual cash. These fake bucks buy virtual items in games like Mafia Wars and Farmville.

I know firsthand that these games are ridiculously addictive, and some players (not me though!) agree to exchange a little time and privacy for an in-game bonus.

But beware. Health insurance industry trade groups are gaming the system. Take one of their surveys and, upon completion, they automatically email your Congressional Representative:

"I am concerned a new government plan could cause me to lose the employer coverage I have today. More government bureaucracy will only create more problems, not solve the ones we have."

How many people heedlessly filled out these surveys not understanding the consequences or the issues at stake? We don't know. However, a director for the Blue Cross-Blue Shield group said the coalition of insurers has generated nearly 2 million e-mails and letters to Congress since early summer.

Another factoid I'd like to know is how many Representatives are using these letters as evidence of actual opposition to healthcare reform.

The number of people playing Farmville is phenomenal: over 26 million daily users and in excess of 69 million monthly users. And to the insurance industry, that must look like an endless supply of suckers.

That's What Friends Are For

"Friendship is a thing neccessary to life since without friends no one would choose to live, though possessed of all other advantages." — Aristotle

In the past few months I've struggled with this question: why have my old classmates all gone insane? Whenever one of them finds me on that silly Facebook, I discover a profile full of links to Glenn Beck, Ann Coulter and pro-torture social groups. It's downright scary. But then I think about it and I realize that, outside of Facebook, it's really not normal to advertise your extreme political beliefs.

The Boston Globe explains why in an enlightening article on how our closest acquaintances are nearly strangers to us -- and that might not be so bad.

After all, our real-life social interactions are meant to establish rapport and to bond -- not data mine. In fact, when friends interact, they misread entire regions of each others' personalities. Too often we just assume our friends agree with us.

I try not to make such assumptions myself, but I've been in those socially awkward situations where a long-time friends assumes I hate Clinton, or immigrants or fuel-efficient cars. Like a zap of electricity, the differences in our convictions strikes both of us at once.

Here is another important point from The Boston Globe article:

Indeed, according to Michael Norton, a psychologist who teaches at Harvard Business School, simply believing we have lots of close friends brings the same benefits as actually having them. In other words, if someone’s ignorance of one of his “friends” extends so deeply that he’s not actually aware that the person doesn’t like him, he may be better off for it. Even befriending entirely fictional people seems to do some good - a paper published last year by researchers at the University of Buffalo and Miami University found that television characters actually function as “social surrogates” for viewers, and watching a favorite show can be an effective way to alleviate loneliness.

Hmm... I think too many people are alleviating their loneliness with Glenn Beck.

You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Post Is About You

I'm reading this NY Times article on blogging and finding myself getting more and more irritated. Their premise is that bloggers expect instant fame and fortune and when it doesn't come, they abandon their blogs:

According to a 2008 survey by Technorati, which runs a search engine for blogs, only 7.4 million out of the 133 million blogs the company tracks had been updated in the past 120 days. That translates to 95 percent of blogs being essentially abandoned, left to lie fallow on the Web, where they become public remnants of a dream — or at least an ambition — unfulfilled.

Dreams? Ambitions? Are we climbing to the top of Mount Everest or writing a blog? They certainly manage to quote a bunch of dimwits who fit their profile of the discouraged blogger with an audience of one. The Internet does not mourn their retirement. But do I believe the stats that say 95% give up?

I'm positive that narcissism is alive and well. The people who think the world is interested in what they ate for breakfast probably abandoned public blogs for a good reason -- it's too easy for your friends to "forget" to check your blog. Instead those types opted for a more captured audience -- like on Facebook, where your friends, family, and distant acquaintances will at least skim your daily minutia and angst every time they login.

But my main gripe is the NY Times portraying that exact caricature of self-absorbed opportunistic bloggers. There are other reasons to blog like sharing what you've learned, pointing out interesting news items, and adding your own commentary... which is, of course, also narcissistic.

I guess you need a little bit of arrogance to be a good writer, but then I see this article about J.D. Salinger. It's a mystery if he's still writing or not. He's certainly not publishing. The article posits "perhaps he's writing not for publication but for God, which would mean there'd be no need to preserve any material traces of his work."

Well, I'm satisfied with a happy medium. Try not to be vain, but don't keep it to myself. Don't dream of fame and fortune, but think about the therapeutic benefits of writing.

Hooked on a Bad Feeling

I shouldn't pretend that I understand this because I only read about it today, but I think the Tibetan concept of shenpa might describe this inner battle I feel too frequently lately:

The Tibetan word for this is shenpa. It is usually translated "attachment," but a more descriptive translation might be "hooked." When shenpa hooks us, we're likely to get stuck. We could call shenpa "that sticky feeling." It's an everyday experience. Even a spot on your new sweater can take you there. At the subtlest level, we feel a tightening, a tensing, a sense of closing down. Then we feel a sense of withdrawing, not wanting to be where we are. That's the hooked quality. That tight feeling has the power to hook us into self-denigration, blame, anger, jealousy and other emotions which lead to words and actions that end up poisoning us.

So here is what causes me to close down, and it all starts with that damn Facebook (though I admit it could start anywhere with any kind of relationship).

A guy from elementary school -- I have not seen him or thought about him in nearly 30 years -- wants to add me as a friend. I accept. My recollections of him are vague, but I remember he was cheerful, popular, and a bit goofy looking with an extreme overbite. I was almost happy to hear from him. We exchange a couple of nice messages, but soon I start noticing his status updates as he signs up for various Facebook groups: Glenn Beck Fan Club, Stop Barack Obama, and Support the War in Iraq and Gitmo! Whoa. He supports torture. Oh, and he's also Catholic. I wonder how he reconciles that? Maybe he'd like to impeach the pope?

I felt angry and sad for the kid I used to know. My urge is to defriend him. That hardly sounds drastic. It's almost laughable! But that's my habit -- to get away from such people.

I think a grand thing I admire about President Obama is his willingness and ability to talk to people he disagrees with and listen to them. Listening is easy and it doesn't equate with appeasement.

So here I am "listening" to my aged classmate on Facebook. His latest status update says Barack Obama is the anti-christ because, seriously, Obama doesn't want to torture and Obama is trying to do too many things at once. As I recognize this shenpa thing in myself, I'm also recognizing it in others.

But right now I wish I had the talent for diplomacy that I so admire in the president. But I don't, so countdown to a Facebook defriending... 3... 2... 1...

Stupidest Post Ever

Image from Failblog.org

I can't decide if a coloring book full of zebras would be really boring or really fun. If you're the realistic type, there would be nothing to color in except maybe some background and greenery. Of course, if you're the imaginative type you could color them any color or every color. That's probably what I would have done as a kid -- use every crayon in the box.

But anyway, I was looking for inspiration today. I wanted to spark some passion to write about something or other. Plus, I was also a bit lonely. So I heard about this new internet phenomena called Omegle which has gone viral or so I've heard. You click a button on the site and it hooks you up with a random anonymous stranger to talk with. They used to call this IRC, but I'm showing my age.

Anyway, I was hesitant to try it because I heard you usually get paired with racist homophobes or cyber sex seekers. I am neither. But I figured the challenge to steer the conversation to another level could be both awkward and fun. Here is my first conversation:

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hi?
Stranger: what up!?!
You: Nothing. Do you like zebras?
Stranger: I like striped shirts.
You: That's close!
Stranger: for sure.
Stranger: do you like hats?
You: Yes I like hats. I used to have a hat with sunglasses.
Stranger: no way.
You: Yea, built in to the hat.
Stranger: the hat and sunglasses were connected.
Stranger: ?
Stranger: ?!?
You: they were built into the rim, and you pulled the rim over your eyes.
You: and then you had sunglasses. they were awesome.
Stranger: pics or it didn't happen!
You: I can't find one any more! I had it when I was a kid.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

My second conversation really reminded me why I hated IRC -- the constant age/sex/location question. There are so many more interesting things about people than ASL, and don't most people lie anyway? Here is my second conversation:

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Hi

Stranger: hi

Stranger: asl?

You: No, I don't know sign language. Why do you ask?

Stranger: female?

You: ice cream?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I think maybe the trick is for me to quickly ask the first question in order to set the tone. My third conversation:

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: Have you ever eaten snails?

Stranger: Hey hey hey

Stranger: NO

Stranger: you?

You: Yeah once. Gross.

Stranger: really?

Stranger: seems like it.

You: it's supposed to be a luxury

You: My sister insisted I try them.

Stranger: weird

Stranger: I would need to be PAID for eating them

Stranger: not pay

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

It's safe to say no lifelong bonds were formed, but at least it's not all elitist like that Facebook with their real name requirements and stuff.

I Can Stop Any Time

Web comic by xkcd.

Is that comic me? Is that comic you? Maybe we have the dreaded IAD (Internet Addiction Disorder)? Oh, no. Where do I go for help? The Internet! This is kind of like a shopaholic going to the mall.

Here's the simple IAT (Internet Addiction Test). It says I'm an "average user." I was completely honest with my answers. For example, they asked "How often do you find that you stay on-line longer than you intended?" and I checked "rarely." After all, I intend to stay online during all waking hours.

They asked "How often do you prefer the excitement of the Internet to intimacy with your partner?" I checked "does not apply." After all, who has time for a partner when you have the Internet. Anyway, you get the idea.

Of course if I had scored higher on their test, they would have recommended their counseling services and books and tapes. How handy that they're willing to sell me something... I wonder if the shopping addiction sites make more sales? Hmm.

Nielsen says Americans spent 6% more time on the Internet in 2008 than they did in 2007. Also, our TV viewing habits were up 4%. Luckily I can do both at the same time.

I had another relevant link I wanted to insert here, but StumbleUpon is down and I'm starting to twitch. [Update: here is the link. Basically it says unemployment means more time to play Internet games. It's the WSJ, so there's even a chart.]

I will eventually write a followup post on my decision to join Facebook. But right now the social networking site feels too much like high school. I'm not simply talking about gossiping and "friending" people. I'm actually getting weird homework assignments. I'm referring to the famous "25 things about me" post making the rounds. I've been tagged twice this week to write a note with 25 things my friends might not know about me.

These assignments always stress me out. I came up with one thing to write -- my last living pet was a seamonkey. Can you guys help me with the other 24? Wait... it's supposed to be stuff my friends don't know, so I can't ask for help. Then help me make stuff up? Luckily, Holy Juan posted some good filler I can use, but my friends would never believe the one about having an erection for 18 years. Simply put, it does not apply.

I'll be awake for a few more hours, checking the blogs and making sure nobody is wrong.

Everyone Else Is Doing It

Web comic by xkcd. Click to enlarge.

I had a weird dream last night. I was back in the third grade and my two BFFs and I had jacked a car and were riding around laughing our asses off. In my groggy waking moments I had to remind myself that we sweet little girls never did any such thing.

But we always had fun, and although I stayed close to one friend, the other one moved away and never wrote. Every once in a while I try to google her, but apparently she shares a name with one of the characters from the Harry Potter series. I'll never find her in the 1500 search results.

Anyway, so I'm awake, fed and watered, and go about checking the news. An article on Slate immediately taunts me with You Have No Friends. Damn! The world (or at least one web magazine and three friends) have conspired to nag me relentlessly until I join Facebook! And that dream I had? That could only be a psychic message from my third grade pal. Maybe she is looking for me too? And she can't find me on Facebook and doesn't know what else to do?

But I've been so skeptical about Facebook. I've been around these Internets for a long time now, and I know about social networking. See, before anybody marketed "social networking," you were simply called a "freak" for using the computer to meet people.

But those days are over, and I'm no longer ashamed. Let me list my travails. I've been recruited to join MySpace, and spammed to join Friendster. I was on Friend Finder, Six Degrees, Classmates and The Globe. You don't know about The Globe? It must have been before your time. But let me tell you the most important part -- it failed.

Yes, there seems to be a distinct life-cycle of social networking sites:

• A group of young geeks, over Christmas break, put some brains and resources together to build a new social networking site -- probably with a new gimmick or look.
• Everybody in their computer science department joins.
• A new feature is added that allows you to recruit your friends -- or everybody in your address book -- with a single click. They join too. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
• Then comes the awkward stage. It's awkward because nobody really knows how to deal with unwanted friend requests and "defriending."
  
• More features are added by request -- allowing users to make their personal pages blink, dance, play music and induce seizures.
• Advertisements are added.
  
• The site starts to feel confusing, less useful, and you begin to ask yourself "who are these people?"
  
• Your grandma joins.
• Everybody flocks to a new and cooler site. Repeat from the top.
  

So what's it to me? I've been called a nerd, an introvert, elitist and a crank, but I can't stand that blank look people give me when I say I don't have a Facebook account. I surrender. I joined Facebook. I will rebuild my network of "friends" in this new promised land. But when it's time to go, will I follow the other sheep peacefully? Maybe not...

Oh, but what about my third grade pal? In all my pondering, I almost forgot to look for her! Yes, her name turns up a few dozen hits and two of them are definite possibilities. But now I'm full of doubt. We probably have nothing in common and maybe she'll even think I'm weird. What if neither of these women were my long lost classmate? Then two total strangers will think I'm weird. I thought I left this drama and insecurity behind in high school? Looks like I just signed on for more.

However, no friend, ex-friend, lover or foe can ever say they can't find me! They can call me, text me, e-mail me, tweet me, IM me, and yes, even my doorbell still works!