Modern Serfs

"People who work for free are far hungrier than anybody who has a salary, so they're going to outperform, they're going to try to please, they're going to be creative." — Kelly Fallis, chief executive of Remote Stylist.

The above quote comes from this article in Fortune which asks if unpaid jobs are the new normal. Dear god, I hope not. I could be mistaken, but I thought slavery was outlawed.

Yeah, I understand that some college grads will take internships in the hopes of receiving valuable training and "getting their foot in the door." That's fine, but of course, a person who can take such a non-paying job has to already be in some kind of financially stable position (like living with their parents, perhaps).

And while contemplating the article, I remembered that I had worked for free. A friend and I spent a couple of years designing and programming some mobile games. But then that's really not the same, is it? I was working independently in the hopes of pure profits at the end of the road (which never quite materialized).

If I ever had the balls to assume I could hire a staff of fifty to assist me -- without any pay -- hell, I'm sure I could have been way more successful. I could have turned out more products and sucked up all the profit for myself. But that's just not right. I believe the word is "exploitation."

But we are living in anti-labor times now. The Fortune article laments, yes really laments, that using unpaid labor isn't always legal:

Unfortunately for many employers hoping to use unpaid labor to advance their business goals, there are strict federal and state rules that workers must be paid the minimum wage and paid for overtime, and must abide by other provisions in the Fair Labor Standards Act, which applies to about 135 million people working for 7.3 million employers. The FLSA doesn't apply to companies with less than $500,000 in annual revenue unless they engage in interstate commerce -- which can be as little as accepting credit cards or placing phone calls to another state.

The FLSA is there for a reason. In many job sectors a lack of wage laws can create a race to the bottom with each company cutting worker compensation to compete with the other companies that have cut worker compensation. And in the corporate world, that means that every person willing and able to work for free is taking a job away from somebody who needs income.

But now let me make a confession of sorts. It's kind of funny really. Or sad. The last few months I've been working in a "virtual sweatshop." Yes, I've been pimping my human intelligence to Amazon Mechanical Turks. Mostly I've been writing short informative articles for content farmers. I've found the work mostly enjoyable and kind of challenging.

For example, I've written informational pitches for snowboard products, despite the fact that I've never snowboarded, skied or made fluffy snow angels. Talk about creative writing.

But it's not the low pay that makes me creative. And I'm certainly not motivated by hunger. In fact, I can't say I work particularly hard at these assignments. I have no illusions of my work landing me a "real job." For me, as a person with a disability, it's a simple case of accessibility. I browse some HITs (Human Intelligence Tasks), click a button, and have an assignment. No commute. No long hours. No job interviews. No coming face-to-face with people's prejudices.

The pay, however, is embarrassing. I could maybe live off of it... if I moved to Zimbabwe. One of my friends suggested that the turkers unionize. I think he was joking, but I'm not sure.

Them's The Breaks

This chart from the Center for American Progress shows 10 safety-net programs facing huge cutbacks versus the tax breaks for the wealthy that face no cuts at all.

I just got finished watching Jon Stewart interview Rand Paul (here's the link). But all I gather is that trickle-down theory is as popular as ever, and Republicans have a whole lot of sympathy for the wealthy.

See those proposed cuts for supplemental nutrition for poor families, LIHEAP, and community health centers? Cutting those programs will directly harm the elderly, poor and disabled. Hey Palin, I think I found those death panels, and your Republican pals are the directors.

Survivor: Kindergarten

I had almost forgotten about the World's Worst Teacher. Back in 2008, kindergarten teacher Wendy Portillo at Morningside Elementary in Port St. Lucie, Fla., let her students cruelly vote an autistic child out of the class. Who lets kindergartners vote on anything? But as you might expect, the boy, Alex Barton, then 5 years old, was traumatized by the mockery and exclusion.

His mother sued St. Lucie County, and recently reached a $350,000 settlement. No doubt that money will help Alex in his care and education, but I always cringe a little when schools operating on tight budgets have to pay out large sums in lawsuits like these. It ends up hurting everybody except the person who should be hurting...

Portillo was suspended for a mere year, and has now returned to teaching in the same county with her tenure reinstated. This lack of accountability is what really hurts students.

Last night Stephen Colbert interviewed Michelle Rhee, the former chancellor of the D.C Public Schools. She believes that the problem with America's schools is that there is no organized interest group that represents children:

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Michelle Rhee
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes 2010 Election March to Keep Fear Alive

When were we ever number one? Well, it wasn't in my lifetime. Rhee points out that in the 1950's, the U.S. was number one in high school graduation rates, rates of going to college, and general proficiency rates. Of course, at that time, most of Europe was still recovering from WWII and rebuilding infrastructure... but it sure made us look good, didn't it?

A View to a Screen

I've been waiting 13 years for this.

It was 1997 when a friend and I went to a newly remodeled AMC theater. Got our tickets, found our theater, chose our seats... well... there really wasn't much choice. As a wheelchair user, this was basically my option:


Stadium-style seating was here and AMC clearly didn't give a rat's ass about the "viewing experience" of their disabled customers.

These seating arrangements place most seats higher than the seats immediately in front of them which means each higher row is up one step. Without giving a damn about the part of the ADA that requires wheelchair accessible seats to have a "comparable" line of sight to non-accessible seats, AMC smacked a few wheelchair spaces in the front row. Or, in even worse cases, they placed the accessible locations about three rows back and placed the seats in front at equal height guaranteeing an obstructed view if those seats were taken.

However, during any movie showing on any particular day, the audience avoids those front rows because they're crap:


AMC was 'changing the way the world sees movies' but all I was getting was a pain in the neck with slight nausea.

In 1999, The Justice Department sued AMC for not providing stadium-style seating to individuals who use wheelchairs.

Ahh... I remember 1999. Clinton was president and the economy was good. I also remember that this suit was often misconstrued as the disabled demanding that all seats be made wheelchair accessible or that stadium-style seating be outlawed. That's B.S. Just give me a clear view from a comfortable distance where I can enjoy the show with my friends.

It has always baffled me that AMC completely ignored a demographic that could have been their most loyal customers. Honestly, there's not a whole lot I can do with my friends. "Hey Kristen, you want to go skiing?" Umm no. "Hey Kristen, you want to go bike riding?" Umm no. "Hey Kristen, you want to go bungee jumping?" Umm no. "Hey Kristen, you want to go to the movies?" I'm there!

But not at AMC. I've avoided this lousy chain as much as possible. But it's been a sore spot. I'm disabled 24 hours a day, 365 days a year (366 in leap years!). Getting a bad seat isn't the same as an able-bodied person occasionally getting a bad seat. At an AMC theater, I (and my companions) will always get bad seats. And I will sit there, without protest, but my blood boils, my anger foments, and my fists clench.

In court documents, AMC admitted that "seats in the front of a movie theater are the “least desirable," and that seating in the rear portion of most theaters provides lines of sight that are the "most favored" and the "best in the house."

I had given up on seeing any progress in this ongoing case, but today, I saw the headline Cinema giant AMC settles Disabilities Act lawsuit with Justice Department. Finally.

But I have to laugh at the AMC spokesperson's PR platitude: "We are happy to settle this lawsuit in a cooperative manner and will be undertaking the required modifications to our theaters in the near future." Well, if it makes you so bloody happy, you could have made the changes 13 years ago.

I wonder how much longer I have to wait for the modifications.

Yahoo Paranoia

"I'm anti-spending and anti-government," crows David, as scooter-bound Janice looks on. "The welfare state is out of control."

"OK," I say. "And what do you do for a living?"

"Me?" he says proudly. "Oh, I'm a property appraiser. Have been my whole life."

I frown. "Are either of you on Medicare?"

Silence: Then Janice, a nice enough woman, it seems, slowly raises her hand, offering a faint smile, as if to say, You got me!

"Let me get this straight," I say to David. "You've been picking up a check from the government for decades, as a tax assessor, and your wife is on Medicare. How can you complain about the welfare state?"

"Well," he says, "there's a lot of people on welfare who don't deserve it. Too many people are living off the government."

"But," I protest, "you live off the government. And have been your whole life!"

"Yeah," he says, "but I don't make very much."

— From Tea & Crackers: How corporate interests and Republican insiders built the Tea Party monster by Matt Taibbi.

This Rolling Stone article -- I wish I could quote the entire thing -- is a must read. It's not only a lengthy study of the narcissism and delusional thinking of the teabaggers, but also an illumination of the Rand Paul phase of this whole tea party aka GOP thing.

Rand Paul is, of course, the political neophyte son of Republican Congressman Ron Paul. Last May, Rand won the Republican Senatorial primary race in Kentucky. One thing I cannot ignore about this man is his position on the 20-year-old American's with Disabilities Act. He wants to gut it, and as I stated four months ago, "I feel threatened every time some politician feels more empathetic toward the 'free speech' of a business owner versus the basic rights of the disabled. I know it's hard for libertarians to understand, but in 1990, a federal law increased my rights."

And yet at a recent Sarah Palin rally, Matt Taibbi observed, "every third person in the place is sucking oxygen from a tank or propping their giant atrophied glutes on motorized wheelchair-scooters."

(Grandma's new wheelchair under a Tea Party government.)

Do these elderly white people never think about consequences? Not only are they fighting to get functional government programs cut, but they're supporting the people who will take away their basic rights. So even if Janice gets a free scooter from the government, she won't be able to take it anywhere! No ADA means no curb cuts, no ramps, and any theater, restaurant or business can slam the door in her face.

On the other hand, at least they'll find out what it really means to be an oppressed minority.

Weekend Update

I'm trying to think of something good to say about the month of September, but basically the weather is unbearably hot and I have at least five birthday presents to buy for family and friends. However, September also means new episodes of Saturday Night Live.

I admit I've had a grievance with SNL for about two years now. I thought their portrayal of NY governor David Paterson as a hapless blind buffoon was cheap and beneath them. The fact that some of my favorite cast members participated in the mockery griped me even more. This was my original rant from December 2008:

I usually don't torture myself with morning radio shows. Listening to morning "zoo crews" or whatever they call themselves now is like reading the dumbest YouTube comments but without the "thumbs down" button.

But you've probably guessed why I'm writing this. I did listen to a morning radio show this morning... for a few moments... before I hit the off button.

The topic was Governor David Paterson's comments about this Saturday Night Live Weekend Update skit that mocked his blindness. The first predictable and juvenile joke the deejays made was along the lines of "oh my god, he's blind! He can't even watch the show!" The genius morning hosts, not catching the irony, proceeded to play the the SNL skit for their listeners... on the radio. They played the SNL skit on the radio -- that primitive device without pictures.

Then they went on with some other blunt ignorance scratching their empty skulls pondering why blind people would even rent DVDs or go to the movies.

But I think the attitude that annoys me the most is the idea that nobody should be offended by the SNL piece because "it's just a joke." The reality, however, is that comedy is part of our discourse now more than ever largely due to shows like Saturday Night Live and The Daily Show. These shows, through humor, change attitudes, and that's truly awesome.

Minorities like the blind and the disabled also try to change attitudes. A spokesperson for Paterson said, "this particular 'Saturday Night Live' skit unfortunately chose to ridicule people with physical disabilities and imply that disabled people are incapable of having jobs with serious responsibilities." People with disabilities struggle every day to create a new consensus that they are capable, smart, and ready to work.

The SNL skit failed because it reinforced the old hindering consensus -- the blind are hapless, clumsy, disoriented. The comedian portraying Paterson repeatedly wandered in front of the camera. The real David Paterson, however, is described as "rarely out of step with his surroundings and seems comfortable in virtually every setting."

I think the best humor is not merely comic relief. The best humor changes the way we view our world, breaks the established order of things, forces you to question your habits and prejudices. Nothing was daring about the SNL skit. It was a lazy reinforcement of the Mr. Magoo stereotype.

I'm sad that Amy Poehler's goodbye message was combined with this lousy humor. I'd like to see the real David Paterson on SNL's Weekend Update. He can at least show them that no matter what way you hold the charts, the economy still looks like crap.

Well, I see they took my advice! On Saturday night, Paterson made a guest appearance on Weekend Update to set the record straight:



And Amy Poehler was there too to say she was sorry. I guess you can call that closure.

Torture Is Not Treatment

I and the public know
What all schoolchildren learn,
Those to whom evil is done
Do evil in return.
— W.H. Auden.

So let me get this straight. A sadist invents a powerful electric shock device to strap on the backs of children, then he opens a school where he's allowed to use the device on autistic, mentally retarded, and emotionally troubled kids, thus creating an environment of constant pain and anxiety.

And no, I'm not talking about some kind of Victorian era insane asylum. I'm not talking about Soviet era brainwashing. I'm talking about public funded education in the USA right now at the Judge Rotenberg Center.

And the torture doesn't end at painful shocks for minor acts of noncooperation. A recent report submitted to the United Nations Special Rapporteur on Torture also revealed the use of restraint boards, isolation, and food deprivation in efforts to control the behaviors of the school's vulnerable students.

The UN Convention against Torture requires each government party to the convention "to ensure that all acts of torture are offenses under its criminal law." Unfortunately, we've been ignoring that quaint little treaty for far too long.

Roll Over Oprah

When I heard that some chick-magnet in a wheelchair was in the lead to win his own show on Oprah's new network, and that much of this guy's support could be traced to 4chan, I was skeptical and a bit worried. Aren't 4chan people notorious for their mean-spirited mockery and ironic "support" for asshats who are unwittingly embarrassing themselves on the internet? I mean these are the people who brought us Rickrolling!

But then I saw the audition video:

Zach's oprah deal from Zach Anner on Vimeo.

I'd totally watch his show! I love the concept. I never watch travel shows. On the rare occasion that I do travel, I can't afford any of that ritzy shit. Show me how to have a good time when things go wrong. That's the story of my life.

Zach's idea might just be the only thing I'd watch on Oprah's network. I'm completely turned off by her endorsement of celebrity pseudo-science and bizarre woman-pandering extravagance.

I'm not quite saying that Oprah is evil, but there are rumors that she and her network are trying to fix the votes against Zach because they don't want to give a show to a person with a disability. But I know Oprah wouldn't rig the voting. She'd arrange for Zach to mysteriously disappear quietly in the night. That's the power of O.

Meet Rand

I know my blog posts have been a little sparse this month. I'm not sure what my problem is. Maybe I've caught that infectious anti-incumbent fever that's been going around. Achoo!

Actually, I've hardly paid attention to the elections this week, but people are making a fuss about them, so I guess I will too.

So there's this guy Rand Paul, political neophyte son of Republican Congressman Ron Paul -- no relation to RuPaul, who won a Republican Senatorial primary race. Calm down Kentucky teabaggers. It's a primary race. He's not a Senator yet!

But, no doubt, Rand is the man of the teabaggers: "I have a message. A message from the Tea Party. A message that is loud and clear and does not mince words: We have come to take our government back."

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After watching that Rachel Maddow interview, does anybody have any doubt that there is a strong racist vibe with the teabaggers and their candidates? If the creepy "take our government back" line is a racist dog whistle, then the rest of that interview was a racist bullhorn. Rand couldn't even give a straight answer to the Woolworth's lunch counter conundrum.

Hey Rand, it's really not a brain teaser. Most of this country agrees that it should be illegal for a business to discriminate based on race, gender, religion, or disability. Rand tried to compare it to a business owner discriminating against those who openly carry a gun. Well, I think the man doesn't know real discrimination. You can choose whether to carry a gun or not. You can choose what day you want to carry a gun. You don't get to choose your race, color or disability, and though you can change your gender and religion, it's certainly not something you do flippantly.

Rand tried to say that the civil rights issues that Rachel Maddow brought up were "red herrings." Well if Rand ever makes it to the Senate floor, then his positions on the Civil Rights Act and the 20-year-old American's with Disabilities Act are not inconsequential footnotes. As a Senator, his beliefs get translated into laws! That's the way it works!

Nobody wants to re-fight the civil rights battles of the last century... except apparently Rand Paul and the teabaggers. As a person with a disability, I do feel threatened every time some politician feels more empathetic toward the "free speech" of a business owner versus the basic rights of the disabled. I know it's hard for libertarians to understand, but in 1990, a federal law increased my rights.

The small government types don't comprehend this. Government had to write the rules to protect my rights. Free markets can't, won't, and aren't designed to do such things. Bob Cesca explained the flaws of libertarianism better than I can:

Libertarianism, which both Ron and Rand Paul famously embrace, suggests the free market is a significant and vital component of liberty. Private businesses are capable of accomplishing everything, and government can't interfere or regulate those businesses in any way. The free market will police itself. Just leave it be.

Private industry can pave roads, educate children, put out fires and protect our streets from drunk drivers. It can shuttle our kids to corporate schools and back, it can provide clean water to our homes and they can guarantee our meat and vegetables aren't contaminated with diseases. And by the way, in a nation that's 70 percent white, private businesses can choose to do all of these things for white people only. Private businesses can provide everything we need, but only offer those services to white people.

And these businesses, according to libertarian ideology, can form monopolies if they want to. As we're all painfully aware from the health care debate, monopolies occur even in our current government-regulated system. Imagine what would happen in a totally unregulated free market.

And really, after witnessing what has happened with the banks in the last year, and the BP blowout last month, we should all realize that businesses need to be regulated diligently. Leaving them to run amok is dangerous!

Ezra Klein has a few more questions for Rand Paul:

Can the federal government set the private sector's minimum wage? Can it tell private businesses not to hire illegal immigrants? Can it tell oil companies what safety systems to build into an offshore drilling platform? Can it tell toy companies to test for lead? Can it tell liquor stores not to sell to minors?

Hmm... wouldn't want the nasty government telling businesses not to hire illegal immigrants, would we teabaggers? Now there's a conundrum for Rand.

Second Class Prom

I usually don't believe conspiracy theories. But then there's this:

To avoid Constance McMillen bringing a female date to her prom, the teen was sent to a "fake prom" while the rest of her class partied at a secret location at an event organized by parents.

McMillen tells The Advocate that a parent-organized prom happened behind her back — she and her date were sent to a Friday night event at a country club in Fulton, Miss., that attracted only five other students. Her school principal and teachers served as chaperones, but clearly there wasn't much to keep an eye on.

Wow. A whole lot of hate and hard work went into planning two proms while keeping one a secret from a select group of outcasts. The conspirators are a sad, spiteful bunch of parents, teachers, and students. And I take back what I previously said about maybe the students are cooler than their bigot parents. They're not. Maybe one day they'll grow up and understand the hurt they have caused.

However, I think my intuition was accurate when I commented that the Mississippi school maliciously wanted to exclude everybody who made them feel uncomfortable:

Two students with learning difficulties were among the seven people at the country club event, McMillen recalls. "They had the time of their lives," McMillen says. "That's the one good thing that come out of this, [these kids] didn't have to worry about people making fun of them [at their prom]."

I wonder who the other second class students were? Atheists? Jews? Salsa dancers? Check out the pictures of the "real" prom. No minorities or disabled students present:


That's the clean-cut look of small-town bigotry... but wait? Two chicks kissing? Isn't that a "distraction to the educational process"? I guess it's all cool as long as they weren't... you know... on a date!

Itawamba County sounds like a real shithole. I hope Constance gets out of there quick.

Pimp My Ride

Health care reform won't be worth crap if it doesn't cover a steampunked chair with vodka and cranberry juice pumps. Seriously, I have to call Kaiser and see if they'll cover this:


(YouTube video)

Republicans Say the Darndest Things

But unfortunately, they're not the least bit cute.

First up, Virginia Delegate Bob Marshall (R) says disabled children are God's punishment to women who have had abortions: "The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children."

I'm curious where he gets his statistics, but I suspect he pulls them from his butt. That's the same place he gets his superstitious prejudices. And why isn't Sarah Palin taking these monumentally offensive statements as a personal attack? Maybe she's still dumbfounded by the witty response from the Family Guy actress who has Downs Syndrome? Or maybe it's because Palin is a callow and opportunistic careerist who won't dare confront a fellow Republican.

Next up, Iowa Representative Steve King (R) justifies the suicide attack on the IRS: "I don’t know if his grievances were legitimate, I’ve read part of the material. I can tell you I’ve been audited by the IRS and I’ve had the sense of ‘why is the IRS in my kitchen.’ Why do they have their thumb in the middle of my back. … It is intrusive and we can do a better job without them entirely." Hey King, the grieving family of Vernon Hunter (the IRS manager and Vietnam veteran who was killed in the domestic terrorist attack) wants you to know that Joe Stack is not a hero!

Third up, proving that if you harnessed all the brain-power at CPAC, you could maybe boil a cup of water, Eric Wargotz, Maryland’s Republican Senate candidate, says he does not believe Barack Obama was born in the United States. I don't know what grudge Wargotz has against Hawaii.

Lots of other wingnut pleasing garbage was said at CPAC, but this final quote is actually a screen-shot from the Republican subsidiary known as Fox News:


Maybe Fox has concluded that their viewers are illiterate anyway.

Palins vs. Griffins

(Hulu video)

I'm not sure if it was this catchy little showtune or the subsequent date scene that caused the Palin family to go into their notorious Facebook rapid response mode:

People are asking me to comment on yesterday’s Fox show that felt like another kick in the gut. Bristol was one who asked what I thought of the show that mocked her baby brother, Trig (and/or others with special needs), in an episode yesterday. Instead of answering, I asked her what she thought. Here is her conscientious reply, which is a much more restrained and gracious statement than I want to make about an issue that begs the question, “when is enough, enough?”:

“When you’re the son or daughter of a public figure, you have to develop thick skin. My siblings and I all have that, but insults directed at our youngest brother hurt too much for us to remain silent. People with special needs face challenges that many of us will never confront, and yet they are some of the kindest and most loving people you’ll ever meet. Their lives are difficult enough as it is, so why would anyone want to make their lives more difficult by mocking them? As a culture, shouldn’t we be more compassionate to innocent people – especially those who are less fortunate? Shouldn’t we be willing to say that some things just are not funny? Are there any limits to what some people will do or say in regards to my little brother or others in the special needs community? If the writers of a particularly pathetic cartoon show thought they were being clever in mocking my brother and my family yesterday, they failed. All they proved is that they’re heartless jerks. - Bristol Palin”

So they think Family Guy mocked Trig? Let me recap the episode. Chris has a crush on a mentally disabled girl in his math class, and he asks her on a date. They go out together and over dinner the girl tells Chris, "My dad's an accountant, and my mom's the former governor of Alaska." That's the closest thing to a Palin family reference I could find.

The date goes downhill from there. The girl is way too bitchy and demanding for kind-hearted Chris.

It was inevitable that the dysfunctional Palin family would one day clash with the dysfunctional Griffin family, but this episode wasn't even about the Palin family! "My mom's the former governor of Alaska" is a throwaway joke. Maybe we're supposed to interpret that line as the girl making a sarcastic jab or an obvious fib. I never know how to interpret Family Guy's random pop culture references.

In fact, I don't really like Family Guy, but I completely approve of putting disabled characters in cartoons like South Park, for example. Remember Timmy? Whether in a rock band, traveling back in time, training a stunt turkey, or being chased by NAMBLA, he was always right there participating with his able-bodied peers. Most people with disabilities (I am one and I know quite a few others) wish the world was more like that... well, minus the NAMBLA part. My point is that the depiction of the mentally disabled high school student doing all the normal high school things is pleasingly progressive.

I'm tired of Sarah Palin using her son Trig as a political prop to attack all things she perceives as elitist and liberal. When she quit her job as the governor of Alaska, I naively hoped that she would use her celebrity status to advocate for the disabled, but the woman simply has no clue. All we've seen from her are fabrications about death panels and a new Republican form of political correctness.

Where is her outrage over the recent story of TSA screeners forcing a 4-year-old to remove his leg braces and walk through an airport security checkpoint unaided? Against the TSA's own rules! Hey Sarah, these are the real cruelties facing real children with disabilities.

Pray for Anything You Want

Pray4Trig, a site promoting a worldwide day of prayer to heal Trig Palin, can't be serious, right?

Also, it is known publicly that Trig Palin indeed has Down Syndrome. Science has no way to undo this condition, which is the result of an extra chromosome; but God can. When Trig Palin is found to be miraculously healed, everyone but the most hardened atheist will have to acknowledge God’s Majesty!

Poor Trig. He's always being used as a prop: first, by a narcissistic mother with political aspirations, and now by an idiot third party with a religious agenda or sick sense of humor depending how you look at it.

Of course, in reality land people would do better to pray for -- no, strive for -- respect and understanding for everybody like Trig.

But I guess that's not how a holy roller rolls, so I'll assume for a moment that the intentions of the site owner are completely sincere. Of course, both success and the inevitable failure of these prayers will be held up as "proof." When every cell in Trig's body is not "cured" of its extra chromosome, supporters will say that God is testing them or some such... or maybe Pat Robertson can drag out the pact with the devil thing or tell the baby that he lacks faith. A cool thing about science is that even if you don't believe in it, it still works.

But it's the glaring hypocrisy in these prayer vigils that pisses me off. A person who really believes in God won't doubt his perfect creation. Trig was created with that extra chromosome. It's the divine plan and all that. Oh, let me get George Carlin to explain it:


(YouTube video)

So even if that site ends up being a parody, at least we enjoyed a good Carlin video.

Medical Mobster Protection Money

Keith Olbermann said it all last night. This health care bill is a perversion of what government is supposed to be:

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Yesterday I learned my health insurance fees would increase by $95 per month starting in January. The increase is because I turned that magic age of 40. The ridiculous rates I pay are because I'm "major risk" with a pre-existing condition -- "pre-existing conditions; you know, like being alive." I'm on no medications at all, and I haven't been hospitalized in 29 years... but still, the medical mobsters can stick it to me. The government won't, in any meaningful way, step in and protect me.

I think there is now one condition that afflicts us all -- debilitating apathy.

Transparency for All

Of course, the Department of Homeland Security insists this is no big deal, but somehow a private government contractor posted a TSA air passenger screening manual online. And unfortunately, the supersecret parts of the PDF were redacted by drawing black boxes over them. Oh! Nobody will ever figure that out! The MSM will try to tell you that "hackers" used their elite skills to remove the black boxes, but in reality all it took was a copy of Acrobat Professional.

So what was revealed? Well DHS Secretary Janet Napolitano says "the security of the travelling public has never been put at risk," but I don't believe it. I'm sure many terrorists would love to know what size electrical wire can go undetected by airport screening machines or how to sneak in through the exit lane.

However, if you're traveling this holiday season, I suppose this new level of transparency can be very helpful! Gawker has kindly assembled 10 tips to get you past airport security based on the TSA manual. Tip number seven was the most disturbing to me:

7. Be Disabled:
The FSD may authorize the following modifications for the screening of Persons With Disabilities:
1) ETD searches are not required for:
a. Wheelchair and scooter cushions
b. Footwear of disabled individuals that cannot be removed
c. Prosthetic devices, casts, or support braces
d. Orthopedic shoes

Well, thanks Internet! It's not like this wheelchair user does a lot of traveling anyway, but now the TSA will be sure to overcompensate and give me an anal probe.

Thank You Ted Kennedy

"He loved this country and devoted his life to serving it. He always believed that our best days were still ahead, but it's hard to imagine any of them without him. " — statement from Edward Kennedy's family.

Senator Edward M. Kennedy died late Tuesday night. He was 77 years old and fighting brain cancer. He served in the U.S. Senate from 1962 until his death.

I know there will be many glowing and not-so-glowing tributes to this good yet flawed man, but here I would like to simply state my thanks for his diligent work towards progressive causes: the National Cancer Act, the Federal Election Campaign Act Amendments, the Comprehensive Anti-Apartheid Act, the Americans with Disabilities Act, the Ryan White AIDS Care Act, the Civil Rights Act, the Mental Health Parity Act, the State Children's Health Insurance Program, the Freedom of Information Act, and the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act.

Despite being born to privilege, Senator Kennedy was clearly an ally to every minority that faced discrimination and diminished opportunities. His compassion was reflected in his legislation, and he changed America for the better.

And quite possibly he was able to effect 46 years of change because he was never president:

But his failure to get to the presidency opened the way to the true fulfillment of his gifts, which was to become one of the greatest legislators in American history. When their White House years are over, most Presidents set off on the long aftermath of themselves. They give lectures, write books, play golf and make money. Jimmy Carter even won a Nobel Prize. But every one of them would tell you that elder-statesmanship is no substitute for real power.

Sadly, Ted Kennedy has died just as the "cause of his life" -- health care reform -- needs his vote. I hope this dream doesn't die with him. I hope there is a renewed zeal to provide quality health care for all. And I hope we can honor Ted Kennedy by naming such a landmark bill after him.

Rest in peace Teddy Kennedy.

Bland Humor

I usually don't torture myself with morning radio shows. Listening to morning "zoo crews" or whatever they call themselves now is like reading the dumbest YouTube comments but without the "thumbs down" button.

But you've probably guessed why I'm writing this. I did listen to a morning radio show this morning... for a few moments... before I hit the off button.

The topic was Governor David Paterson's comments about this Saturday Night Live Weekend Update skit that mocked his blindness. The first predictable and juvenile joke the deejays made was along the lines of "oh my god, he's blind! He can't even watch the show!" The genius morning hosts, not catching the irony, proceeded to play the the SNL skit for their listeners... on the radio. They played the SNL skit on the radio -- that primitive device without pictures.

Then they went on with some other blunt ignorance scratching their empty skulls pondering why blind people would even rent DVDs or go to the movies.

But I think the attitude that annoys me the most is the idea that nobody should be offended by the SNL piece because "it's just a joke." The reality, however, is that comedy is part of our discourse now more than ever largely due to shows like Saturday Night Live and The Daily Show. These shows, through humor, change attitudes, and that's truly awesome.

Minorities like the blind and the disabled also try to change attitudes. A spokesperson for Paterson said, "this particular 'Saturday Night Live' skit unfortunately chose to ridicule people with physical disabilities and imply that disabled people are incapable of having jobs with serious responsibilities." People with disabilities struggle every day to create a new consensus that they are capable, smart, and ready to work.

The SNL skit failed because it reinforced the old hindering consensus -- the blind are hapless, clumsy, disoriented. The comedian portraying Paterson repeatedly wandered in front of the camera. The real David Paterson, however, is described as "rarely out of step with his surroundings and seems comfortable in virtually every setting."

I think the best humor is not merely comic relief. The best humor changes the way we view our world, breaks the established order of things, forces you to question your habits and prejudices. Nothing was daring about the SNL skit. It was a lazy reinforcement of the Mr. Magoo stereotype.

I'm sad that Amy Poehler's goodbye message was combined with this lousy humor. I'd like to see the real David Paterson on SNL's Weekend Update. He can at least show them that no matter what way you hold the charts, the economy still looks like crap.

A Working Kitchen

I discovered the joy of cooking this year when I started taking a weekly class at the Silicon Valley Independent Living Center (SVILC) -- a nonprofit agency that serves people with disabilities. I took the class so I wouldn't have to rely on frozen microwavable meals my entire life. However, the benefits of the class have been more than just culinary. I've also made some wonderful friends which is a salubrious side effect.

But the SVILC operates on a tight budget and the kitchen appliances are broken and inadequate. The organization is seeking donations this holiday season, and the class will be featured in the San Jose Mercury News Holiday Wish Book. You can read all about the class and make donations on the SJ Mercury web site.

Don't look for me in those pictures though. I wasn't there that week! I'm camera-shy anyway!

We've Earned A New Puppy

Over on Gawker, they have the scoop on the people who will fix your money. The BBC has the scoop on who has been named for the new Obama administration. And over on Newsweek, they scoop the poop on past White House lawn poopers.

I find that all fascinating, but I want to talk about a different type of animal. The elephant. The mascot of the Republican party, right? So why not dress your little Republican offspring as an elephant for Halloween? I wouldn't have given much thought to that idea until I was watching Countdown tonight and was alarmed at what I saw at about 5:30 into the following video (if video doesn't show, click here):



Did you see it for yourself? Sarah Palin dressed her son with Downs Syndrome in a Dumbo costume! He's mentally challenged and in a Dumbo costume. Does that woman ever think? Am I being hyper sensitive?

When I was a child back in the dark ages (the 1970's), I had to go to a "special" school where they placed children with physical disabilities in the same classrooms with children with mental disabilities. It actually wasn't a bad deal. The class sizes were very small and my lessons were individualized for my abilities and pace...

But what I'm remembering is that when they put on an annual play, and they chose Snow White -- it was changed to Snow White and the Six Dwarves. They intentionally left out Dopey. There was no need to teach new and demeaning labels to vulnerable children. There was no need to reinforce the epithets they may have already heard from their crueler peers.

Palin's baby boy is too young to remember this event, but I hope she gains a modicum of political correctness before her son goes to school.