Dino and Jesus

(image from Princess Sparkle Pony's Photo Blog)

Finally, proof that evolution isn't real (with a lot of help from The Wired Conspiracy Generator):

Are you kidding me? Evolution was a total sham! Think about it! Everyone knows that the Flintstones owned a dinosaur. And have you noticed that the liberal blogosphere has started to act very strangely? They obviously don’t want this story getting out. I mean, what would happen if people began asking why do some guys still drag their knuckles? Well, they may be able to fool the sheeple, but the members of Sarah Palin's Facebook group aren't swallowing their story. Look, don’t take it from me; Pat Robertson is convinced as well. But we have to act fast, because those freedom hating scientists could be on PBS. I just wanted you to be aware of this, in case I disappear.

Budding Cartoonists

When a Massachusetts second grader was asked to sketch something that reminded him of Christmas, he drew this:


The elementary school, in complete bureaucratic overreaction, decided the stick figure image of a crucified Jesus was violent and required the child to undergo a psychological evaluation.

I know more than a few people who wear something similar in gold around their necks. I guess they should all go see the school psychologist too...

I agree with those who say this has nothing to do with a war on Christmas or an attack on Christianity. It's just another dumb safety policy that does nothing to make people safe.

In The Beginning Was The Word

"You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do. " — Anne Lamott.

And you can safely assume conservative Christians don't even believe their own Bible when they endeavor to rewrite it. Apparently, the Bible, like reality, has a liberal bias. The dolts at Conservapedia aim to fix that with their "Conservative Bible Project." Yep. They're going to rewrite the holy book removing the liberal distortions that run amok.

One of the funniest project guidelines states "Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning." Personally, I can hardly wait to read the passages on Reagonomics. And the parts where Jesus defends the death penalty ought to be a hoot.

Despite all this so-called liberal bias, idiots have had no trouble quoting the bible to defend all kinds of atrocious things. And why not? The history of the bible is one of... forgive the pun... loose canons. Who's to say who wrote or translated what and why it was included or left out? Not to mention what it all means...

Oh hell. Why rewrite it when you can start from scratch? Remember kids, creating your own holy book can guarantee your entry ticket into heaven or whatever afterlife you create! Just ask Joseph Smith! Or this comedy duo:


(YouTube video)

Christmas: Paid In Full

Yippee! I don't have to pay my Christmas bills if I just download this sheet of stickers from Benny Hinn and follow his simple instructions:

CLAIM YOUR DEBT CANCELLATION TODAY BY USING THESE STICKERS!

Place a sticker on your mortgage, loan, and credit card bills, as you ask God to give you a financial breakthrough.

As you send in your seed-gifts and prayer requests, place a sticker on the reply form, which Pastor Benny and Dr. Oral Roberts will lay hands on, and believe that you will receive a mighty outpouring.

Hey, if Benny knew about supernatural debt cancellation all along, why didn't he save Washington Mutual, IndyMac or any of the other failed banks? It probably wasn't God's will or something. That's it.

By the way, if I pay my bills online, do I just stick these to my monitor?

Turn Jesus On

Was this designed by a catholic priest? Whatever. I'm giving these to my religious friends next Christmas.