Angry Birds

I'm always amazed at the public's penchant for drawing the most ludicrous conclusions when the completely plausible ones haven't been given a chance.

On New Year's day, residents of Beebe, Arkansas woke to find the corpses of 3,000 red-winged blackbirds littered across their streets, yards, and driveways. But wait! "It gets creepier" according to Time magazine. Last Thursday, approximately 100,000 dead drum fish washed ashore a river near Ozark -- which is about 100 miles west of Beebe.

Which conspiracy should we choose? God? Satan? UFO's? Obama? China? BP? Or is it the apocalypse? Well, my dad was already ranting tonight about how there is "something they're not telling us!"

Except the people who study this stuff for a living are telling us a lot. The most plausible answers regarding the dead birds involve lightning strikes, fireworks, or high-altitude hail.

The fish deaths are most likely disease related since it seems to have affected only one kind of fish. It's not likely to be a pollutant.

The Arkansas Game and Fish Commission said there is no indication of a linkage between the bird deaths and fish deaths. But this won't stop the media from a morbid "shark attack summer" kind of frenzy. It's good for ratings, and anyway, people like my father will never believe the two separate events are a mere coincidence.

In other news, Arkansas cats were thrilled over the all-you-can-eat buffet.