What Not To Get Me 2010

This post started as a list of ten dorky gifts under $10, but the truth is that I wouldn't want to receive most of this stuff, it's not all under $10, and I couldn't come up with ten things. But certainly giving any of these items to your loved ones will make it a Christmas to remember!


First up is this Buzz Light Year sippycup. My, doesn't he look confident? Maybe it's because he doesn't contain any cadmium... Or...

Next up is How to Live with a Huge Penis: Advice, Meditations, and Wisdom for Men Who Have Too Much. $10.36 from Amazon.com. The taboos have all been shattered. Penis books are definitely HOT this year!


If that title is a little too suggestive, you might want to consider this gem: Obscene Interiors available at Dream in Plastic for $8.00. What could be obscene about interior decorating you might ask? Let me quote the publisher: "Artist/Author/Provocateur Justin Jorgensen provides incredible voyeuristic insight into interior decorating through the unlikely prism of online personal ads. The exhibitionistic men who originally appeared in these found images have been turned into anonymous silhouettes so that Jorgensen can critique the much-more-interesting bad decorating taking place in the background."

Enough already. This list is about more than wee-wee themed jokes. How about an inflatable banana protector for that special someone on your list? It's available from a UK company called Fruity Faces and will set you back a couple of British pounds. Honestly, I'm thinking about the children with this one. They need more fiber in their diets!

Also, bacon flavored popcorn for $4.99 from ThinkGeek.com. I'm not sure if anybody needs this in their diets, but thanks to Holy Juan's secret Santa who I stole this gift idea from.

Another fine culinary delight courtesy of ThinkGeek.com is bleeding heart gummy candy! The world needs more bleeding hearts.

My final gift idea is for the skeptic on your list. In fact, frequent readers might have noticed how often I use the word "skeptical," so it's appropriate that science-themed ceramic jewelry (approx. price $18 - $38) gets the Dorkmonger gift-giving seal of approval this year.

And remember friends, this holiday season, don't drink and gift.