Tuesday, October 06, 2009

In The Beginning Was The Word

"You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do. " — Anne Lamott.
And you can safely assume conservative Christians don't even believe their own Bible when they endeavor to rewrite it. Apparently, the Bible, like reality, has a liberal bias. The dolts at Conservapedia aim to fix that with their "Conservative Bible Project." Yep. They're going to rewrite the holy book removing the liberal distortions that run amok.

One of the funniest project guidelines states "Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning." Personally, I can hardly wait to read the passages on Reagonomics. And the parts where Jesus defends the death penalty ought to be a hoot.

Despite all this so-called liberal bias, idiots have had no trouble quoting the bible to defend all kinds of atrocious things. And why not? The history of the bible is one of... forgive the pun... loose canons. Who's to say who wrote or translated what and why it was included or left out? Not to mention what it all means...

Oh hell. Why rewrite it when you can start from scratch? Remember kids, creating your own holy book can guarantee your entry ticket into heaven or whatever afterlife you create! Just ask Joseph Smith! Or this comedy duo:

(YouTube video)

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