Priorities

(Photo from Time.)

Not everybody cares about the royal spectacle. I certainly don't. Didn't we declare our independence from the monarchy in 1776? And yet there are still Americans who feel they need to pay some sort of respect...

NBC's Brian Williams earns my respect this week. After arriving in London to cover the royal wedding, he was updated on the rising death toll due to the storms, tornadoes and flooding across six states, and turned right around and came back home.

Gates of Hell

First they said it was a plane crash. Now they're sure it was a high pressure gas line.

I started to see the live news coverage around 6:45pm. A residential neighborhood in San Bruno, California was on fire, and it is still on fire as I type this. Dozens of homes were incinerated tonight. I suppose for some it happened in an instant. I can't speculate on what the death toll will be, but I know it will be bad.


I've been glued to the TV. Our local CBS station has done a commendable job. Not once did I hear the word "terrorism" though I admit it went through my mind. It probably went through everybody's mind. The San Bruno neighborhood is a few miles from the San Francisco International Airport -- so the logical explanation was an aircraft.

But it was a gas line. I've heard some horrific eyewitness reports which I won't go into. I keep thinking about people sitting down for dinner and never knowing what hit them.

When you think about that, it's kind of hard to feel safe anywhere, you know?

Separation of Oil and State

I'm sure Stephen Colbert wasn't the only one exercising his denial defense mechanisms after learning about the Earth Day oil spill:

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But now none of us can ignore this ecological catastrophe. It's time for us to grow up, see through the oil-industry propaganda, ignore the usual bunch of "drill baby, drill" shouters, and anticipate these inevitable disasters.

As Rachel Maddow pointed out on her show last night, a corporation's permission to drill should be tied to their ability to clean up their messes:

But even as drilling technology has advanced so we can do it in places that we couldn't do it before, it doesn't seem like we bothered to make sure we knew how to clean up in these places if we needed to. Am I being naive to think that the regulatory process, the approval process, should link those two things, that you shouldn't be approved to drill deeper than you know how to clean up?

Sierra Club's Michael Brune responded that, much like separation of church and state, we need to separate oil and state, and that the industry can't regulate itself, and there are "big problems that need to be resolved." Well, tell me something I don't know.

If we were really serious about the environment and energy independence, we'd be moving forward on more renewable energy projects like offshore wind farms rather than pursuing more offshore drilling. But I guess "blow baby, blow" doesn't make much of a bumper sticker.

Let's Talk About the Weather

"Hey, so much for global warming -- look at all this snow! and so much for global globalness, look how flat it is out there!" — Stephen Colbert on Twitter.

TV's funny people are doing a pretty good job of mocking the moronic global warming deniers who point to snow falling in D.C. and say global warming is a crazy liberal myth:

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However, between jokes and interviews with random celebrities, could somebody in the media please put some scientists on? Because what really needs to be made clear is that the early warning signs of global warming include downpours, heavy snowfalls, and flooding:

An increase in global temperatures will lead to an intensification of the hydrological cycle. This is because an increase in surface air temperature causes an increase in evaporation and generally higher levels of water vapor in the atmosphere. In addition, a warmer atmosphere is capable of holding more water vapor. The excess water vapor will in turn lead to more frequent heavy precipitation when atmospheric instability is sufficient to trigger precipitation events. Intense precipitation can result in flooding, soil erosion, landslides, and damage to structures and crops.

Parallel to the likely increase in heavy precipitation events in winter, increased temperatures will also amplify the drying out of soils and vegetation due to increased evaporation in the summer. This is likely to result in more severe and widespread droughts where and when atmospheric conditions do not favor precipitation (see Droughts and Wildfires).

These predictions are consistent with current U.S. weather phenomena. Notice I said "weather" and not "climate"? Weather is not climate. A single weather event does not tell us much about global climate. Just as the above Daily Show video lampooned the debate, both sides tend to make this same mistake.

But it's no wonder the conversation is muddled. We have energy industry lobbyists writing EPA amendments, astroturf groups funded by ExxonMobil, and some pretty janky logic from global warming deniers.

The deniers must know they won't win the argument on scientific merits, so they prefer a faith-based argument. The dumbest one goes something like "it is the height of hubris and arrogance to say that man's pitiful technology could affect the world."

Luckily, the reality-based community remembers a whole slew of man-made eco-disasters: rainforest destruction, the Exxon Valdez oil spill, Chernobyl, the Bhopal pesticide factory leak, the Love Canal toxic landfill, the Pacific garbage patch, herbicidal warfare in Vietnam, the shrinking Aral Sea, and the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. What thinking person could seriously claim we don't impact our environment?

But Republicans and Fox News pundits don't need science and logic. Like rabid Punxsutawney Phils, they stick their heads out, see it's snowing, scream some shit about Al Gore, and then stick their little heads right back up their asses. We can laugh now, but our future generations will suffer.

We Aren't the World

Did anybody watch the Hope for Haiti Now benefit concert last night? It aired on just about every channel, but I avoided it. My objections to the show had nothing to do with Haiti and everything to do with smug and annoying pop-stars I don't like shedding tears for the camera.

I understand that telethons are used to spread awareness as well as raise money. During the 1985 Live Aid concert, donations were only trickling in, but during a break, a short film was broadcast showing starving and diseased Ethiopian children. The rate of giving became faster in the immediate aftermath of the heartbreaking video.

However, last night's concert extravaganza didn't serve the same enlightening purpose. In the days since the Haiti earthquake, we have all seen plenty of pictures of destruction and suffering. If everybody is already aware of the earthquake, then how does the telethon really help? Or why does it help? Are there really people who need to see Justin Timberlake singing Hallelujah before they'll donate? Yes, apparently there are millions of people like that.

A few days ago I got into an argument about this on a Sims board. Yes, you read that right. I got into an argument on a message board for the Sims video game. Some players wanted the game makers to sell special Haiti themed game items and donate a percentage of the profits to the Haiti relief fund. Zynga is doing something similar with Farmville. My caustic response was, "Give directly to the Red Cross and don't worry about what's in it for you and your fake people." Wow. That did not go over well with the other Simmers. I guess I should get over the idea that people should be altruistic.

I think Stephen Colbert was brilliant with his new Humanitarish Award for cost-benefit analyzed generosity:

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By the way, the best TV show last night was Conan O'Brien's Tonight Show farewell. He was funny, and classy, and went out jamming on the guitar. Somebody has to give him another television show, or we'll all be stuck watching that deranged jaywalker.

Fast Isn't Fast Enough (updated)

According to Satan's lawyers, the winning bidder of this Pat Robertson Voodoo Doll will take on full legal responsibility if anything bad should happen to Robertson. But don't let that stop you. Bidding on the item ends January 26 -- more than a week from now.

Which brings me to another matter that my friend Trung pointed out on his blog. In this age of instant messaging, our aid to Haiti isn't so instant. In fact, if you're text messaging your donations, your mobile carrier may not submit your money to charity until after you've paid your bill. This may lead to delays of 30 to 60 days. The best way to help the people of Haiti is to donate directly to respectable charities.

By the way, the whole idea of Haitian voodoo dolls is really just an idea conjured up by Hollywood. When you see those spooky little dolls in shops in Haiti or New Orleans, they are only there there to amuse the tourists.

Anyway, I never thought I'd be doing PR for voodoo, but while I'm at it, I might as well print some PR for Satan. He wants the world to know that he's never made any deals with Haiti:

Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action.

But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished.

Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"?

If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll.

You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan

(LILY COYLE, MINNEAPOLIS)

Well, now we know how Robertson got his fame.

(update: Verizon, Sprint, and T-Mobile have agreed to release the money upfront.)

The Midnight Hour

First, a little bit of trivia: The “secret unlock code” on US nuclear missiles during the height of the nuclear crises of the Cold War remained constant at OOOOOOOO.

The Doomsday Clock is a symbolic clock face, maintained since 1947 by the board of directors of the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists (BAS), that uses the analogy of the human species being at a time that is "minutes to midnight", wherein midnight represents "catastrophic destruction" by nuclear, environmental, or technological means.

The BAS has turned back the clock one minute, bringing us six minutes to midnight. The BAS announced the adjustment today at a news conference in New York:

"By shifting the hand back from midnight by only one additional minute, we emphasize how much needs to be accomplished, while at the same time recognizing signs of collaboration among the United States, Russia, the European Union, India, China, Brazil, and others on nuclear security and on climate stabilization."

Of course, this doesn't make up for the two minutes closer it moved in 2007, or the two minutes closer it moved in 2002, or the five minutes closer it moved in 1998. In fact, six minutes to midnight really doesn't sound all that reassuring. Tck Tck Tck.

(YouTube video)

A Pact with the Devil

Maybe Pat Robertson thought that earthquake was in Hades and not Haiti? Why else would he be telling these fairy tales about pacts with the devil:


(MediaMatters video)

I live in California, and we are also often accused of dealings with the devil. However, somehow our civil engineering and strict adherence to building codes have minimized our losses during comparable earthquakes. True story.

But I'm thoroughly tired, disgusted, and dismayed by the childish and superstitious explanations for "why bad things happen." What is this? The dark ages? Haiti has had a series of disasters including flooding, tropical storms, and hurricanes which they are vulnerable to because of geography, soil erosion, and deforestation. Haiti is the poorest country in the Americas, and their government has a history of corruption. No wonder they can't make a building stand:

Haiti is 80% Roman Catholic and 16% Protestant, and during a time of heartbreaking crisis, a leading American Christian stigmatizes them with blame and bullshit. They don't need this.

Volcanoes!

I bet the ancient people of Pompeii wished they had a volcano warning system. Unfortunately, they lacked the technology and didn't understand the warning signs.

But 1700 years later, technological and scientific research was progressing. In 1839, King Ferdinand II agreed to the construction of the Vesuvius Observatory. It was celebrated as a place of research and observation of natural phenomena. Today, the observatory is still a center for Geophysics, Volcanology, Geodesy and Geochemistry studies.

Where are we today in the US? Do our politicians possess the same logic, forethought and self-interest? Paul Krugman sums up the current philosophy of the GOP as "snickering at stuff that they think sounds funny. " Of course Krugman is referring to Bobby Jindal's speech earlier this week where he attempted to discredit the economic recovery package by mocking magnetic levitation trains and volcano monitoring...

A $140 million provision of the The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act goes to the United States Geological Survey for "repair, construction and restoration of facilities; equipment replacement and upgrades including stream gages, and seismic and volcano monitoring systems; national map activities; and other critical deferred maintenance and improvement projects." After all, the goal of the USGS is to reduce the vulnerability of the people and areas most at risk from natural hazards. And surely the employment of people for these projects will have the intended stimulative effect.

Jindal should know all about natural disasters, but he'd rather remain ignorant and play politics with people's lives. How is it that a king of yore was more enlightened than this guy?