Going Greene

Last night I was only following the California election results, but apparently there was some election weirdness going on in South Carolina.

A mystery man won the Democratic Senate nomination. His name is Alvin Greene, and he's unemployed, 32 years old, and a military veteran. He won nearly 60% of the vote in SC's open primary. Greene had no campaign funds, no web site, no bumper stickers and he tried to pay his $10,400 filing fee with a personal check. Oh, and he's also facing a felony charge for allegedly showing obscene photos to a university student.

Some people suspect a Republican plant. These kind of shenanigans have happened before:

In the early ‘90s, a Republican strategist was prosecuted and forced to pay a fine when he was found to have coaxed an unemployed black fisherman into running in a primary race to increase white turnout at the polls in a Lowcountry congressional race. The political operative paid the man’s filing fee.

But it seems a little odd to plant a guy like Greene and then leave it up to chance for him to get the nomination.

But what I find really odd is that Greene doesn't seem to have the wild-eyed political views or the attention-whore tendencies of people like Orly Taitz. In fact, he doesn't even seem capable of those kind of theatrics:



But you know, US Senators earn an annual salary of $174,000. So why wouldn't Greene run? It might have been a bit of blue sky dreaming, but a $10,400 investment for a chance at a $174k job isn't bad! Believe me, I've considered this scheme myself!

But come November, Greene (if he doesn't step aside) will be facing Republican incumbent Jim DeMint, and we'll see if this anti-incumbent fever is really contagious.

Send Out The Clowns

We may be a little bit crazy in California -- we once had an entire ballot full of crackpots -- but tonight we proved we're saner than Kentucky. California Republicans did not choose Orly Taitz as their nominee for Secretary of State. And I'm thankful.

You may remember dentist/lawyer/real-estate agent Orly for her crazy legal filings to repeal Obama's birth certificate or something like that. U.S. District Judge Clay D. Land dutifully slapped her with a $20,000 fine, and I hoped that was the last we'd ever hear from the "birther queen."

Now, if Orly had won the Republican nomination, I could have written a long blog post about teabaggers, and California becoming a circus, and the irony of conservatives electing a former Soviet to overthrow our democratically elected government...

Seems some people wanted her to win for the sheer joy and hilarity of seeing this conspiracy theorist campaign with other notable California Republicans. No doubt there will be some memorable races in November when teabagger favorites run against Democrats who do not believe in bartering chickens for checkups, or repealing the Civil Rights Act, or drill baby drill.

But Orly won't be in those races. I really believe democracy is better when all candidates are serious, rational, and educated. I don't want California to become a circus.

And You Know What? Chicken Butt!

Voters dressed in chicken costumes are banned from Nevada polling sites this year. Were poultry costumes at the polls ever really a problem?

Well, apparently chicken suits have been the favorite form of ridicule directed at Republican Senate candidate Sue Lowden, a millionaire casino executive famous for suggesting that poor people barter chickens for checkups.

Of course, Lowden claims she never said it, but she said it and the videos show it. Which reminds me of a comment Bill Maher made on his show on Friday: lying is obsolete. Yep, Lowden should learn that she can't deny her own words when they've already been set to a disco beat on YouTube.

Speaking of wacky election candidates -- Orly Taitz. Did you know the birther queen is on the California Republican primary ballot for California's Secretary of State? And so far her best attack against her African American opponent, Damon Dunn, is that she says he's ineligible...

And you know why? Chicken thigh.

Taitz in Wonderland

This crazy storm we're having in the Bay Area made me want to turn off the computer, curl up and read a good book... or a good legal order.

This 43 page document issued by U.S. District Judge Clay D. Land slaps eccentric lawyer / dentist / birther conspiracy theorist Orly Taitz with a $20,000 fine. The document is really quite a read:

Quite frankly, the Court is reluctant to even dignify this argument by responding to it, but it captures the essence of counsel’s misunderstanding of the purpose of the courts and her misunderstanding of her own claims .... To suggest that an Army officer, who has received a medical education at the expense of the government and then seeks to avoid deployment based upon speculation that the President is not a natural born citizen, is equivalent to a young child, who is forced to attend an inferior segregated school based solely on the color of her skin, demonstrates an appalling lack of knowledge of the history of this Country and the importance of the civil rights movement. Counsel’s attempt to align herself with Justice Marshall appears to be an act of desperation rather than one of admiration. For if counsel truly admired Justice Marshall’s achievements, she would not seek to cheapen them with such inapt comparisons.

The judge does a beautiful job discrediting Taitz's mind-boggling claims... which I assume jack-of-all-trades Taitz won't even read. In fact, she is foolishly dismissing it as a form of intimidation.

But what I really enjoy about this story is seeing a tea-bagging birther face some kind of consequences for her lunacy.

Possibly the looniest part of the Orly Taitz sideshow has been watching so-called Republican patriots give support to a Russian trying to overthrow our democratically elected president. During the Bush era, they would have been charged with treason. Shit, President Obama deserves that peace prize if only for tolerating dissent.

I hope the next chapter of this Taitz comedy involves disbarment.