One day you'll tell your grandchildren about this, but they won't believe you. They'll say in disbelief, "you mean they had a color coded chart to tell you how scared to be?"
"Yes," you'll tell them. "And for nine long years it only varied from yellow to orange and back again."
"Why did they change it to orange?"
"Usually to make us forget about a Democratic National Convention or a Republican scandal."
But then a wizened smile will grow across your face and you'll say, "but the comedians and snarky bloggers ridiculed the dumbstupid thing and eventually the government gave up their dang rainbow charts."
Then your precocious little grandkid will pipe up with, "now when they want us to forget they use the neuralyzer!"
"Grams, tell me more about the good-old days!"