Goldmine for Goldline

A while back I wrote about The Lightning-Rod Man by Herman Melville:

Door-to-door salesman are not part of our modern world, but we can still recognize the lightning-rod man today. He comes during a storm, strikes fear with his stories, has something to sell, and has something to gain. The Lightning-Rod Man is an enduring parable about consumerism, religion, and politics. Buy me, pray to me, vote for me or you'll end up dead.

Or poor. Glenn Beck is the modern lightning-rod man, or snake-oil salesman if you prefer. The Fox commentator spins wild, paranoid tales of the the coming economic apocalypse and then tells his gullible audience that buying gold is the answer. See, first he scares you, but then he saves you!

Of course, Beck wants his viewers to buy gold from Goldline which is one of his few remaining sponsors. Now, whether you believe gold is the answer or not, one thing is looking clearer and clearer: Goldline is screwing consumers. Their average markup is 90% above melt value. Their highest markup is 208% above melt value:

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And Glenn Beck's audience must be a goldmine for Goldline. Beck's true believers faithfully follow the fallacies of his hallucinations:

One customer, whose name was redacted by the FTC, filed a complaint in February, writing, "Not knowing anything about buying gold, I called Goldline International, Inc. because of their advertisement on Fox News and the fact that Glenn Beck endorses them." Like Richardson, this customer originally wanted bullion, but the sales rep "absolutely insisted" on 20-franc coins, and the customer relented. Unable to get a refund, the customer reported paying $369 apiece for coins that could be bought elsewhere for as low as $208.

But now that Rep. Anthony Weiner is onto Goldline’s sleazy sales tactics and ties to right-wing pundits, what can Beck do? (Do I even need to ask?) He will weave an intricate web of conspiracies involving Van Jones, Jim Wallis, evil government agencies, and Media Matters -- all determined to take down Fox News!

And his fans will believe every deluded word even as he swindles them.

A Parable

I am too often reminded of The Lightning-Rod Man by Herman Melville.

In the 19th century, peddlers traveled from town to town and door to door making fraudulent claims to sell their questionable wares like snake oils and lightning rods. Melville's tale starts on a thunderous night with a doleful knock on the door from such a huckster.

The hard-sell begins. The storm is not "fine," it is "awful." The hearth is not warm, it is the most dangerous place. Do not pull the bell wire, it conducts electricity. Be scared. Buy this rod. It will save you.

But the host is smarter than his visitor. He asks questions. He knows that the rod can rust or break. He knows the peddler is not divine. He throws him out of his home.

Door-to-door salesman are not part of our modern world, but we can still recognize the lightning-rod man today. He comes during a storm, strikes fear with his stories, has something to sell, and has something to gain. The Lightning-Rod Man is an enduring parable about consumerism, religion, and politics. Buy me, pray to me, vote for me or you'll end up dead.