Gifts I Won't Be Giving

It's my favorite time of year again. Seriously. I plan to be very busy with the decorating, wrapping, baking and visiting festivities this month... but the shopping? I've done pretty well this year, and I'm almost done. I even avoided Black Friday.

But here is an unfortunate dilemma most people don't find themselves in. I found the craziest gift ever, but there is no man (or exhibitionist) in my life to give it to. Boohoo:

This book contains no nudity. No profanity. No sexual material of any kind. And yet it just might be the naughtiest book of the year!

Penis Pokey is an illustrated board book with a large die-cut hole in its center. Every spread features a dazzling full-color illustration with one thing missing — a banana, perhaps, or a fire hose, or a sea serpent. Male readers can complete the illustrations using the talents God has given them.

I know many of my readers have some interest in politics, so here is another unique gift. Even if I don't have anybody on my list who would appreciate this, maybe you do: Hillary Nutcracker and Corkscrew Bill.

I really try to find creative gifts for my friends, and I feel like a total failure when I resort to giving gift cards!