Remember when video games didn't have advertisements? Well, The Sims Online goes beyond simple product placement. Sims players can open their own McDonald's kiosks and consume the virtual food to improve their game stats. Alternet has an article on how to protest the fastfood giant in the Sim universe. I wonder how many virtual picketers would ever protest something in real life? Oh and while I'm on the subject of The Sims, I should mention the crazy Sim Survivors web site.

Michigan Studies Weekly recently reported that whales migrate to Lake Michigan. The newspaper, published as a teaching aid, later retracted the story explaining that the false information came from a different Internet site intended as a joke. On a related note, here are ten tips for making your internet hoax more believable.

Do you doodle? Check out the doodle of the day every day.

Alien creature, fetus, animal, or hoax? My bet is on hoax. Oh, wait. It's already been determined to be a Chilean animal. Well, that mystery was fun while it lasted.

These are some of the scariest Halloween masks I've seen in a while (You can click the images for full-size, printer-friendly color masks). Also, these classic costumes are kind of scary too. I think Casper and Witchiepoo were two of my first costumes.

I might have donated to this worthy cause, but it seems they've already reached their goal.

Yeah, I haven't written in my blog in a while, but I thought I'd start off this week on a positive note. Here is A Collection of End-Of-World Scenario's.

NewZoid describes itself as "The World's #1 Source of False Headlines." Two of my favorite headlines for today are "New Anthrax Vaccine Moved To Protect Keith Richards' Privacy" and "Drug Companies Charged With Murder In Murder Trial."

What lies beneath the keys on your keyboard? Well, it's probably pretty gross. I still don't understand how a rat can get stuck in a hard drive though.

I have nothing against video games like this, but when will a video game company cater to the desires of female gamers like me?

Finally, the origins of the smiley have been unearthed. :-)

Where were all the vibrating toys when I was a kid?

Greece has banned all electronic games. And they're not just talking about the violent ones. The ban even applies to chess and the standard games shipped with Windows. Offenders will face fines of 5,000 to 75,000 euros (about $4,980 to $74,650) and imprisonment of one to 12 months.

Check out the Top 500 web sites. Nope, The Daily Dork Monger is not on the list, but Neopets is!

Will a RoboShop be coming to a neighborhood near you any time soon?

Yay! I think I'll celebrate National Slackerday today even though I'm American.

I'm glad I was nowhere near Santana Row today. The new upscale housing and shopping center is on fire. So far, there have been no injuries reported.

A mushroom hunter (snicker) stumbled upon 101 garden gnomes in a forest in southwest France. The police are baffled.

This is just creepy. Airport security screeners may soon try to read the minds of travelers to identify terrorists. I guess I have one more reason not to fly. Also, maybe I should invest in this company.

Oh, I am so shocked! The romance that bloomed on the ABC reality show "The Bachelor" seems to be going sour.

I swear, I will never fly again. I'm not scared of the terrorists; I'm scared of the airport security. The brave security at Los Angeles International Airport successfully disarmed a Gi Joe toy soldier. In other news, a JFK airport security guard forced a mother to drink her own breast milk. Don't you feel safer?

How sad. Edsger Wybe Dijkstra 1930 - 2002 Professor Edsger Wybe Dijkstra, a noted pioneer of the science and industry of computing, died after a long struggle with cancer on 6 August 2002 at his home in Nuenen, the Netherlands.

I still don't know how to pronounce his name.

If you haven't already heard, GRACE, the Social Robot, exceeded all expectations performing basic human tasks at The American Association of Artificial Intelligence's annual meeting.

Hello fellow dorkasheadaposelicalsoars! Don't bother looking up that word because I just created it with the Random Word Generator.

What were those F-16s chasing?

"It was this object, this light-blue object, traveling at a phenomenal rate of speed," Rogers said. "This Air Force jet was right behind it, chasing it, but the object was just leaving him in the dust. I told my neighbor, 'I think those jets are chasing a UFO.' "

Oh, does this remind you of anybody's computer? Somebody we know maybe?

Scientists reveal the secret of cuddles. How sweet.

I can't stop looking at these pictures. But isn't this what the Internet was made for?

Is this the robot I've been dreaming of? It can actually fetch a can of coke!

I used to think that peanut butter and potato chips was a crazy snack, but then I read Utterly Outrageous Recipes. Fish and Peanut Butter Sandwiches? Fried Potato Pizza? Bleh!

I'm lucky I've never had a job this bad: True Porn Clerk Stories.

Here are the 2002 winners of The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest. The contest was inspired by this famous opening sentence written by Edward George Bulwer-Lytton:

It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents--except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.

US planning to recruit one in 24 Americans as citizen spies. Yeah, those are the headlines. You think it's a hoax? Well, I suggest you sign up now before your neighbors do.

Chatty Cathy, move over. Here's Cindy Smart.

I've ignored my blog for at least a week now. It was my birthday last week, and I was just so busy partying. ;) So here is a link I've been meaning to post: Blind Psychic Gropes Buttocks to See Future. I think the guy is just a pervert!

One of my first blog entries ever was about the A.L.I.C.E. bot. Here is an interesting article about Alice's creator, Richard Wallace.

Are holograms finally for real? And when do I get a hologram TV?

George Michael is boring and irrelevant. I guess that's why he's trying to be controversial.

I'm way too into American Idol considering I'm probably not even in their target demographic. Anyway, on tomorrow night's show an AI contestant will be disqualified. I had suspicions about certain finalists from the last 2 weeks. However, the article makes it clear that it will be one of the 10 who was to compete tomorrow night for the final 3 spots.

Martha Stewart must be really busy lately. She's been in the news a lot. I don't know how she still finds time to stalk people with style.

There has been a lot of discussion about the Pledge of Allegiance today. I found a very interesting link about the history of the Pledge. It's important to note that the original version never included the phrase "under god." The author, Francis Bellamy, considered placing the word "equality" in the Pledge, but he knew that the state superintendents of education were against equality for women and African Americans. If we're going to be making any changes to the pledge to the flag now, I think it's time we added the word "equality."

Here's a list of the top 500 supercomputers. The new #1 is The Earth Simulator built by NEC.

While I'm on the topic of technologies with questionable benefits, how about a mannequin that can sweat? The creators say the invention will help clothes designers better understand heat and moisture transfer from the human body to the environment. Guess we won't be seeing these in department stores.

Do we really need Internet Refrigerators?

How could I forget to mention this? The world has decided! The new M&M color is purple! Yay purple! Now that we've voted on what color candy we want, we (Americans at least) have to decide what color money we want.

This Robot on the run story sounds like bad science fiction, but it's not. An experimental robot at a research center actually tried to escape and made its way as far as the parking lot. The researchers claim there is no need to worry and the robots are perfectly harmless.... but of course, they never expected one to escape in the first place.

Darn, here's one 80's heavy metal hair band we'll never see on a reunion tour: Ratt. Their guitarist Robbin Crosby was found dead at age 41 in Hollywood, California.

Do we really need chocolate french fries? Heinz has new blue Funky Fries too. I guess it will go real pretty with their purple ketchup.

The What's Your Mental Age? quiz says I act like I'm 20. I wish I was 20 again.

I watched American Idol on FOX last night. It's a new show where hopeful singers audition to be the next pop idol. I laughed until I cried. Some of the contestants were so incredibly awful they brought back fond memories of The Gong Show. It's time for that show to make a comeback.

Today, however, I was shocked to hear about another "reality" show, MTV's Harrasment. The producers of this "Guerrilla Candid Camera" placed a fake corpse in the bathroom of a Hard Rock Hotel room and filmed an unsuspecting couple as they discovered the mutilated body. The Smoking Gun has the details on the multimillion-dollar lawsuit. Please tell me this is all a hoax?!

Wonder Twin powers, ativate! I can't believe Warner Bros is making a Wonder Twins movie. I guess The Wonder Twins were never my favorite super-heroes. I could never understand how taking the shape of a parakeet and the shape of a snowball was a logical way to beat the bad guys. Wouldn't taking the shape of a machine gun or a 300 pound gorilla make more sense? Anyway, here is a Wonder Twins FAQ for your perusal.

So who gets my blog when I die? Well, I doubt anybody would want it, but what about my other web sites and my mailing list? A friend would need my password to take over my mailing list, and obviously, Dead Men [and Women] Tell No Passwords.

By Christmas 2003, UWB technology may be available to consumers. New UWB devices will be able to wirelessly transfer movies, digital photos, MP3 clips and other large multimedia files at speeds 10 times faster than the current leading technology.

Have you ever had a friend who forwarded to you every sickly sweet "inspirational" e-mail? Well, I guess that stuff is now called glurge, and I particularly like this collection of anti-glurge messages.

After 66 years, there is still nothing interesting to watch on TV.

Is this the ultimate T-shirt? It's made out of a new fabric that can display glowing, changing images!

We're electric! A professor in the UK believes the human brain's em field is consciousness.

Last night, my friends and I laughed over the nude slumber party letter to Ann Landers which has quickly become a hot topic. Well, just as I suspected, it's a hoax -- an urban legend which has been circulating for 7 years or so.

Remember those Fisher Price "little people"? I guess they don't make them any more because they were choking hazards or something. But anyway, when I was a kid, I used to try to customize mine occasionally, but they never turned out as good as the ones this guy made. My favorites from his collections are The Simpsons, The Matrix, U2, and The X-Files.

Lifter technologoy is what I've been waiting for. When these antigravitational devices are charged with a small amount of electrical power, they levitate, apparently able to resist Earth's gravitational forces. I admit that I'm skeptical, but you know, I've always wanted a hover craft.

This is so cool! Makes me wish I could ride a bicycle!

Does the jukebox cheat artists out of royalties? Jukebox Piracy was a big concern in 1962.

Do you ever get that feeling that somebody is reading your mind? Well, there is a new type of headwear that can shield your brain from most electromagnetic psychotronic mind control carriers. It's called The Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie.

According to this article in The New York Times (free registration required), you may wear your next computer in the form of flexible LCDs. I'm not sure how well that material will breathe though?

I used to refer to this house as the dirty old shack in the sky. It's only about a mile from where I live. Unfortunately, the article does not include a picture, but believe me this thing is an eyesore - a dilapidated old house up on stilts. And now, after an 18 month investigation, we find out why. The owner was building a basement for a marijuana farm. Did he think nobody would notice on a road where thousands of cars pass every day?

I can now relive my childhood through classic print ads.

Did you ever make one of those balls with rubber bands when you were a kid? Well, I never would have thought of making something similar out of bras!

I used to have a little stuffed snowman, and on its back there was this funny message: "lace snow it." After pondering for days, I concluded it was a really bad translation of "let it snow." Well, here is a whole collection of bad translations on Japanese Engrish.

I don't know which is more crazy: building a huge Lego church or dedicating it to your cat. Regardless, the project is impressive.

The Internet gets blamed for everything. Now it's being blamed for marital breakups.

I don't know about this. Do you think gumball poetry machines will catch on? I'd like to try one just for the heck of it.

They heard us! The dumb ass Digital-copyright bill has been slammed.

New US paper money will have tinted colored backgrounds in order to foil counterfeiters. Since I haven't seen these new bills yet, I guess I don't have much of an opinion.

Yep, they really did kill Kenny this time, and I didn't even notice until a friend pointed it out to me. Anyway, I'm glad they promoted Butters to a more predominant role.

I feel this is really important. Please read the action alert from the Electronic Frontier Foundation. It explains how the Consumer Broadband and Digital Television Promotion Act (CBDTPA) will hurt consumers and technology companies. It also explains how and who to contact if you oppose (or support) this act.

I'm always interested in new technology, but this new wireless smart glass which notifies the waiter when a glass needs to be refilled is something I never would have dreamed of.

It makes us less stressed, lowers our blood pressure and reduces anxiety. It's more common than sex, eating or singing. It's laughter.

I always knew those work at home schemes were a scam, but I never knew who was behind them and how they really work. Well, now I know.

For your own good, here are some hoaxes you should be aware of this April Fool's Day.

Here is a site which is devoted to the research of my favorite Easter candy, marshmallow peeps. The peeps also have an official web site which isn't nearly as interesting. Oh, there might be one thing better than peeps though. That's See's chocolate.

I can't believe these shenanigans from Yahoo. They have changed every user's marketing preferences to maximize spam. If you have a Yahoo ID, go to your account info screen, and click the link labelled "Edit Your Marketing Preferences." Change every ad category to "no," and also click "no" for the "contact me by phone" and "contact me by US mail" options. Ugh.... and to think there was a time when they were actually cool.

A new edition of the 1700 year old Kamasutra will be published this month. Sorry, the link does not contain any pictures.

Jesus Shaves is a humorous story about the cultural differences surrounding the observance of Easter.

I never would have imagined that soap bubbles would be a cool toy, but a chemist in Taiwan has inventedCatch-A-Bubble, a soap bubble which can survive for days without popping.

One of my friends still thinks the Dr. Seuss book mentioned below is a hoax, but I've found it listed on e-bay here and here. However, for a real parody, read The Last Case Of Encyclopedia Brown.

Do You Know What I'm Going to Do Next Saturday? That's the title of a banned Dr. Seuss book. Who wouldn't want their child to learn how to read with a rhyming story of shooting sprees and suicide? If violent textbooks are good for Afghanistan, then they are good for us too!

This article from Space.com describes how humans might make a 43 year long journey to Alpha Centauri. The article doesn't explain what they might do once they get there. At least they will be able to grow their own fish sticks.

Two German designers have invented the Painstation which allows computer games to inflict real pain. I do not want one. However, if these designers come to their senses and invent a Pleasurestation, I'll be first in line to buy one.

DataPlay's new digital discs are about the size of a quarter, hold 500 mb (which, using new compression techniques, equals up to 5 hours of digital music or 11 hours of mp3 files). The players will even come with small LCD monitors for viewing music videos.

These new home robots are so cool, but, geesh, they cost about as much as a home! How much are people willing to spend on a robot that can go fetch them a soda from the refrigerator? You can view some videos of the Honda Asimo in action.

What happens when a Cyborg is unplugged at the airport gate? After living as a cyborg for more than 20 years, Dr. Steve Mann was disconnected from his computers by airport security. He is now undergoing tests to see how being disconnected has affected his brain. His ordeal sounds almost as bad as my experiences travelling with an electric wheelchair.

This little story perfectly illustrates why I never have and never will post personal entries in my blog. The star of the story is probably reconsidering his weblogging habits now.

Here is a very long list of phobias. I think it's perfectly natural to have atomosophobia. I'm pretty sure I don't have chrometophobia. I don't have diabetophobia although I had my blood sugar level tested today (it's fine). I'm glad I don't have erotophobia. I don't know what I would do if I had kathisophobia. This whole post reminds me of Lucy diagnosing Charlie Brown as having panophobia.

Pop queen Britney Spears fled for cover after having urine thrown at her as she filmed a TV ad. I'm laughing hysterically right now.

This new product from Soundbug lets you turn flat surfaces into speakers. I'm skeptical about the sound quality, but for the expected price of approximately $40, it sure would be a fun toy.

This very sad news story brings new meaning to the word "indifferent."

For endless fun, try The Always Amusing Euphemism Generator. "Alone once again, she retired to the bedroom and began slapping the flesh turtle."

Today, I'm going to actually post something useful. Here is a collection of techniques to resolve conflict. Most of these techniques can be used in any context including online communities.

Here are two names I haven't seen in the news in a while: Tonya Harding and Amy Fisher. They will battle in a new FOX Celebrity Boxing special to air on March 13. I think a more interesting match would have been Tonya Harding versus Nancy Kerrigan, but I guess FOX will take what they can get.

Have you ever met one of those annoying guys who constantly mentions the fact that he doesn't even own a television? Next time I run into someone like that online, I have the perfect response: "Ooooh so you're the guy I read about in this article."

Remember I made that one-muppet-post-a-year rule back in October? Well, since it's a new year, I guess I'm due for a muppet post. Take the what muppet are you quiz. I am "Rowlf: You don't draw attention to yourself much, preferring to keep your cool and stay in the background." Hmm... yeah, that does kind of sound like me!

How would you like to live in The "Ultima" Tower, a two-mile high sky city with the efficient structure of a termite's nest!

Am I hearing voices in my head or the new "ventriloquist" technology? This new technology can project a beam of sound so that only one person can hear it.

Whose blog is this? She seems so familiar. Oh wait, it's just randomly generated teen drivel.

Here is a site that has everything you've ever wanted to know about Happy Drinking Birds.

Here is an article to boggle your mind: Are There Other Universes? I suppose you could also ask, is there even one universe?

I just watched the lamest movie I've ever seen. I didn't even watch the whole thing.... but enough to see that it was neither funny nor scary.

The SoloTrek XFV isn't exactly the hover chair I've been hoping for, but it's a step in the right direction.

Shift.com (a site I had never even heard of before), has come up with their list of The Top 25 Web Personalities, or the rock stars of the web as they put it. Hmmm... I guess they haven't heard of me either!

Here is an interesting article about Space Elevators. Maybe the idea of moon vacations isn't too crazy after all.

I was just reading some half-baked ideas at the Half Bakery. How about State-of-the-Union Address Pop-Ups? Or Programmed Ants?

The United States Postal Service is auctioning off undeliverable packages on eBay. I wonder how many of these packages started off as eBay transactions anyway?

Here is an interesting chart which explains the geek hierarchy. The sad part is that I fall into several categories and they are all pretty low on the chart.

You can use this painless four-step plan to seem smarter without having to read any books or other annoying stuff like that. The first rule is to say less. Considering the brevity of my blog entries, I don't think it's possible for me to say much less than I already do.

A British campaign group is calling for a day with no Internet. Screw 'em. That would be like a day without sunshine.

Ahhh... this site just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside: The Blogjam Random Kitten Generator.

I'm still kind of skeptical about this story of a lady getting suctioned to a toilet seat on a Boeing 767 flight. I wonder how big her rear is?

Have you ever wondered if we're really just living in a computer simulation? Maybe everything is just virtual reality. The idea really isn't so new. As Edgar Allan Poe once said, "All that we see or seem is a dream within a dream."

Tired of your current life? Try a new life at Alter Ego. This simulator takes you through life from infancy to death. I was easily absorbed in this game, so make sure you have several hours to spare!

Oh, it's about time already! The X-Files series will end this May. It hasn't been any good in years, and it got even worse after David Duchovny left.

Take a look at this picture. Gee, do you think they should have used a different font?

Here are some cool items featured at this year's International Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas.

The new, revolutionary, top-secret product from Apple has finally been announced. It's a new iMac. Although Macs generally don't excite me, this does have a nice screen.

What a cheesy idea! Blogstickers!

Have you ever wondered which Super Mario Brothers character you are? No? Oh, well. The quiz says I'm Peach.

Unbelievable. Two guys are already in line to see Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones.... and tickets don't go on sale until May. Haven't they heard of Fandango?

Well, yesterday there was a report of another nifty hole in AOL Instant Messenger. AOL claims it's been fixed... but I'm not sure if I trust them, so don't be surprised if you don't see me on AIM for a few days.